Unrealistic Expectations?? Is that fair??
Posted on 08/04/2008 by Yvonne McCarthy / No Comments / Leave a Comment »
As I have said many times, the weight loss surgery field is so very new and EVERYONE is learning new stuff every day. It isn’t that the people in charge are bad people….they are learning just like everyone else is but somewhere, sometime back in WLS prehistoric times, someone thought it was a good idea to tell you not to have unrealistic expectiations.
Digging into my deepest core feelings, I said “I don’t think that’s good!”
Here are the reasons….
It all started when I heard a bariatric doc say that we should not have unrealistic expectations. He said not to expect to get to the weight you were when you married.
What if you got married three years ago? My brain interpreted it this way. “Ok little fat girl…we know you are less than and can’t do things we regular people can do.”
Granted… this is more than unfair because it was what I heard. For me, it was comparable to telling the “fat girl” that she could only make a C on the test instead of an A.
I am currently at the exact weight I was at my very smallest in college (35 years ago). I starved myself for two years just to be thin.
When I was challenged by my teachers in school, I performed. I had one teacher that seated us according to our grades. If you made an A on the last report card, you sat at the front table. Guess where I was sitting??
The front table.
My dad was really strict but I only had to make a C to maintain my privileges and that’s pretty much what I made if I was uninterested or unchallenged in class.
When I went to college I had the priviledge of choosing my classes and because I loved music and the courses I took, I was on the dean’s list. I knew I could do it if I wanted to. I also knew I could do this weight loss surgery thing and succeed….mostly because I blindly believed with my entire soul that it was my last chance and I was going to prove that I could do this! Believing it from the very beginning, knowing it was the answer, and making promises I wouldn’t mess up this miracle was what I needed to make it happen. That’s a subject for another blog entry but for now I wanted to address this unrealistic expectation concept.
I don’t know if it’s the same for others as it was for me, but telling me I couldn’t do something was probably not the way to go for someone who was pretty sure she was a failure because of obesity. Being a master and always first in line to beat myself up, I could do a bang up job all by myself. Perhaps it is because of the quote below…. that I put so much stock into what we have to say….the people who have walked this path.
“No one can lead you down a path that they haven’t been.”
I look forward to the day that we as patients can contribute to the programs designed for us because we have so much to offer and I’m ecstatic when there are professionals that totally get what’s going on with us. It seems to be getting better every day!
Below you’ll see the video that chronicles the changes in my life due to weight loss surgery.
Wow….what a joy to be “Living My Life!”
hugs and blessings, Yvonne
aka Bariatric Girl
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Who is Bariatric Girl?
Musician, Artist, Photographer,computer geek and weight loss surgery aficionado. On March 30th, 2001, I had weight loss surgery weighing in at 260 pounds. Since that day I have lost and maintained a 130 pound loss. Yoga and walking my dog were the only exercise I was getting until I started with an instructor and creator of "Body Juggling". Click on the picture on the bottom of this page and it will take you to the site. Read More »