Re:Morning Confessions of an Ugly Girl
Posted on 11/27/2010 by Yvonne McCarthy / 14 Comments / Leave a Comment »
This morning I read an incredible piece shared on facebook. It’s called “Morning Confessions of an Ugly Girl”. Many of my friends in the weight loss surgery community are relating no doubt. Here is an excerpt.
I heard snatches of gossip. I was the “ugly girl” of the class. No one bothered to learn that I loved to read. No one ever found out about my warped sense of humor. No one cared to read the stories I would stay up writing. No one asked for my opinion. I was just the ugly girl. One-sided. If someone’s pretty, people want to find out more about them. They pay attention to the positives and ignore the negatives. If someone’s ugly, people dismiss them as being “a nice person to talk to.” For a while. The more they learn about the ugly person in question, the more they concentrate on the negatives. Good looks are like a get-out-of-jail-free card for life. You could be the meanest, most sadistic bitch out there, but if you’re pretty, people use that to cancel out your faults. Ugly people just fall deeper and deeper into this pit of loathing. Not just the disgust of others, but the repulsion of ourselves. They tell us that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
I felt every word of this story and it was my truth for nearly thirty years. So sure that being released from my prison of obesity would make it all better somehow….I wasn’t expecting a perfect life but I expected better. My life improved so much that I could hardly contain myself. I was passionate about this new lease on life and it became my purpose to share and support others in their journeys. How could this possibly be anything but wonderful? How could I have known that members of that same community would be so unkind to those that are all just trying to see a way out of their formerly miserable lives? We are all the same…we all have pain, we all have joy. Although I cannot control those who wish to do harm I certainly look to the many that are just like me, the ones seeking a kindler, gentler journey.
If I could tell the person who wrote that article one thing it would be that no matter who you are or what you look like there will always be someone telling you that you are ugly and no matter how beautiful someone is on the outside it eventually fades. A well known actress said “Being born beautiful is like being born rich and getting poorer every day.” When I looked at my 70 year old mother who was slipping away every day to cancer I didn’t see the wrinkles or her age…I saw the most beautiful person I have ever known in my life. She taught me so much…I would have loved for her to see how my life changed for the better.
I am clearly healthier now and I am free from my prison of obesity.
Freedom that I am grateful for…no matter how ugly someone is I cannot let them affect my life on a day to day basis. Misery loves company so don’t invite misery to your party anymore. There is something beautiful in every one of us and there’s a simple way to find it.
Stop looking for the ugly…ugly is easy to find if that’s what you look for. Ugly is….ugly.
It’s just as easy to seek out the beautiful.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Ugly is in the mind of the beholder too.
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Who is Bariatric Girl?
Musician, Artist, Photographer,computer geek and weight loss surgery aficionado. On March 30th, 2001, I had weight loss surgery weighing in at 260 pounds. Since that day I have lost and maintained a 130 pound loss. Yoga and walking my dog were the only exercise I was getting until I started with an instructor and creator of "Body Juggling". Click on the picture on the bottom of this page and it will take you to the site. Read More »
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